she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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