Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
