Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
