A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Randomize
