she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
