she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
