I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I wanna passion pit in your ass
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
