I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
