umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
