there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Randomize
