I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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