U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
