I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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