Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Randomize
