And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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