oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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