This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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