"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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