I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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