She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
