so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
