Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Randomize
