Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
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