so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
