That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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