PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
