dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Actions speak louder than pants.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Randomize
