Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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