I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Sober January is a disaster.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize