She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
