Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize