Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
