You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Randomize
