I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
