Your tits are I can't wait for
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
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