how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
