apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
