Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
