what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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