I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Randomize
