Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
