Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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