she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize