I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize