But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
