i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
So many bounce houses so little time
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
