Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
