I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
