i just google imaged poop.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
