Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
