Plan B is the new Plan A
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Sober January is a disaster.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize