i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I understand Curling. That high.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize