She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
