I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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