What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
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