my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
