i wish starbucks made bloody marys
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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