cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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