Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
