I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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