But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
